i was 29 years old when i met pammie in 2005. i had just bought my first condo, #505 in north brook II, and her door, #501, was only 10 steps away. i had lived in the northern virginia suburbs for past 5 years, where neighborliness meant being polite - a wave and a head-nod on the way to the car. i expected no different in DC. fortunately, i had moved into a very special place.
on my first night in northbrook II, there was a welcome note at my door accompanied by a bottle of "good, not great" wine. i introduced myself the next day to the charming lady next door who knew everyone and immediately felt welcomed. the transformation from condo to home had begun. over the next 5 years, a steady stream of gifts were left at doorsteps and, at some point, she went from a neighbor to a friend to part of our family, our "aunt pammie".
though i think she liked me initially, she definitely hit it off with luke, my orange tabby. luke, like all her cats, could do no wrong ... even when he most certainly did wrong: like eat her plants or scratch her furniture. her apartment was the playground and hotel for many cats in the building. as such, she kept cat toys and food dishes in her apartment. once, the cable man came to fix her TV. seeing the cat paraphenalia, he said "i'd better shut the door so the cat doesn't get out." without thinking, pammie said "oh, that's okay, i don't have a cat." we laughed imagining the thoughts running through his head. she joked that it would be the last time that particular comcast repairman paid her a visit.
when i'd open my door, luke would make a bee-line for pammie's dooralbacore there was abundant albacore tuna, toys, and a dearth of rules. note that i was eating the standard-grade tuna at the time but pammie saw to it that my cat was eating the good stuff. when i went away for the holidays, luke would stay w/ his aunt pammie, provided there was "vacancy." if not, she would dote on him in my apt, leaving eloquent notes detailing his wonderful behavior.
pammie was the best neighbor. she had keys for most condos on the 5th floor, including mine, which was great because i locked myself out on a bi-weekly basis. she always smiled when she gave my keys, except at 7am, when she'd just crack the door and stick the keys out (clearly i had woken her up). she was fluent in a number of languages, including spanish. she always let the cleaning lady, evelyn, in to my place while i was at work and would often call me the day before to remind me evelyn was coming. once, when luke was confined to the bathroom for a prolonged stretch for potty training, pammie tried to explain the situation to evelyn. unfortunately, pammie succeeded in explaining that matt (me) was locked in the bathroom for a few weeks. he is not to be let out, no matter how much he cries and screams. one imagines the look of confusion on poor evelyn's face before pammie set the record straight.
inter-apartment commerce flourished between #501 and #505. we established a 2 person cupcake club. whenever one of us went to the grocery, we'd split a 6 pack of mini chocolate cupcakes (she preferred giant to harris teeter bc of the icing). sundays meant $5 rotisserie chickens from harris teeter, which we'd usually split. winter colds meant the sick person got fresh-squeezed orange juice. pammie gave us an electric juicer for christmas 2010 and said she expected a hefty return on investment.
her favorite was the pumpkin crunch cake that my wife, cath, made every thanksgiving. each year, cath made one for our family and one for aunt pammie, who said her sweet tooth would wake her in the middle of the night to satisfy the crunch-cake cravings.
we shared a love of the Marine Corps as our fathers were both leathernecks. Her father authored a field manual that my brother, Major William Fenwick, a helicopter pilot in the Marines, used in his training. When the HBO mini-series, "the Pacific", about the Marine battles in WWII, aired, she came over every sunday for 10 weeks to watch. cath would make dinner, pammie, despite our objections, would bring dessert. over dinner, pammie would fill us in on the background of each episode, displaying her vast knowledge of history and wonderful story telling. fiercely loyal, she had harsh words for the US Navy after they left the Marines stranded on Guadalcanal and, of course, for the enemy combatants.
last summer, she came with the Fenwick family to the Marines barracks at 8th and I to watch the Sunset Parade. she loved the pomp and circumstance, being around the young Marines and watching the show. my mom noted tears in her eyes during the ceremony.
despite our the differences and political ideologies, she was my good friend and, when i did catch her esoteric references, we laughed often. "ahoy!" was our greeting when we called the other. she was #7 and #8, house and cell, on my speed dial, so often did we talk.
cath and i have been touring europe since june and, largely at pammie's urging, we'll head to africa in november. she begged us to see the serengetti while it still existed as it had made a profound impact on her during her stay in tanzania.
and we feel her now with us now on our trip. in berlin, we stayed with a northbrook friend, elizabeth. it was pammie, of course, introduced us and subtlely pointed out all the things we had in common. we think of pammie when we see the all the stray cats in greece (she would try to feed them all) and the moonflowers on the roadside, which she gave us every summer. we loved her very much and can't imagine northbrook w/out her.
- matthew fenwick, friend and neighbor
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